The Future Is Here!

So, in the beginning of this baby begetting journey I felt daunted by the fact that it would be an uphill battle. However, I think all the over-thinking, over-analyzing, and over-preparation may have been in my favor. We were able to conceive our Little Bun roughly after 6 months of trying. That's like pretty normal actually... Yay!!!

The successful cycle happened immediately after I finished 3 rounds of Clomid, reduced Metformin dosage, and had been sticking to The No Fun Food Life for about 70% of my diet. I also had greatly increased my physical activity - pickleball, badminton, hiking, scale the strat, etc. - the month before it happened. All that cardio! So... yes, even women with PCOS can have babies with a good diet, moderate exercise, and dedicated doctors who are proactive. I still have to watch myself and try to keep up with the diet & exercise to prevent gestational diabetes... more work ahead!

I also had a little help from ALL of my preggo friends. I literally and very shamelessly asked to rub all their bellies for lucky baby vibes. These two lovely ladies even gave me a double belly-bump for good luck! Everyone kept telling me it will happen... and in the meantime I freaked out anyway. So, thanks for putting up with me! :)

I'm coming up to the end of my 1st trimester and so far the ride has been pretty smooth. I'm extremely tired, moody, have acid reflux, sore boobs, and randomly find myself starving throughout the day... but nothing that's been debilitating or excruciating. I took a 3-week leave of absence from work because of the recent company restructuring and mass exit by 14% of the company. It was stressful, frustrating, and depressing to go to work every day. My blood pressure had sky-rocketed at a checkup and during the first crucial weeks of the baby's life all the vital organs and essential foundation are under construction... so I decided to detach myself for a bit from the craziness of work. This week I went in for another check-up and blood pressure is 120/80... yeah!!

The one food that I extremely miss are deli sandwiches. I don't know if anyone knows this about me but I eat the Subway Club sandwich almost once a week! LOL - the one really nice morning guy that works at the Subway in my neighborhood knows my order! Apparently, deli meat has a pretty low probability of being contaminated with Listeria - a bacteria that can thrive even with refrigeration and is killed by cooking and pasteurization - but pregnant women have increased susceptibility. To come up with a remedy to this hankering... I made myself this 1 pound (yes, I weighed it!) open-faced sandwich. Sprouted grain bread, hummus, avocado, mozzarella, and tomato. It hit the spot! :)

Confession Of A Dumpling Addict

It's time I come clean... I have been flying under the radar with this guilty pleasure. Dumplings are wrapped in really high-carb skins.

1) I ate dumplings during my vacation - which I documented and is completely normal.
2) On the day we left to drive home to Vegas... I stopped at Dumpling Inn (the BEST dumpling shop in San Diego) and bought dumplings & steamed pork buns for the drive.
3) Half a week back into the real life, I left work one day craving them. I was desperate. So, I went to the grocery store and bought a bag of Ling Lings. I'm not proud of it.
4) They don't cut it. So, this past weekend I went to the Chinese supermarket and bought what I needed to make my own. I made dozens and dozens of them. I've been eating them everyday for FOUR DAYS now!

Pork Dumpling Recipe *NOT No Fun Food Life Approved*
Mix together 3lb. ground pork, white parts of 1 bunch of Green Onions, a handful of Spinach leaves chopped, a lot of Garlic to your desire chopped, 1 cup of Shiitake Mushrooms chopped, 1/4 cup Soy Sauce, and 1/8 cup Toasted Sesame Oil. Chop up like 4 cups of Napa Cabbage, sprinkle with some salt, work with your hands to encourage osmosis, squeeze the water out of the cabbage and add into mixture. Mix everything together well.

Use dumpling skins, add dollops of the meat mixture to the center, wet the edges and solidly squeeze/crimp together to skin to fully contain the meat mixture in the middle. Pop into boiling water in batches, boil about 10 minutes or until they float and puff up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a problem. I am a dumpling addict!!! I decided I had to come out with my terrible secret so I can be held accountable and stop. I must stop! I have to get back on track this month and stick to my guns. I've started working on the physical fitness aspect, so I can't let the food part slide.

On another note, while I was at the Chinese supermarket, I saw something that struck me as a sign of good luck for the baby journey. I went to buy White Rabbit Candy to add a bit of festivity to my home in preparation for Chinese New Year. And when I got to the shelf of White Rabbit Candy, there was a single box of Ginger Candy wedged right up front. Significance? Ginger Candy is a popular item among pregnant women suffering from nausea. So... I'll take that as a good luck sign for a little "dumpling" this Year of the Sheep! LOL... and yes, I bought it. Don't judge me.

So far, the baby journey has had its ups and downs. Of course there's like that disappointment when it doesn't happen each month, but on the positive side it has brought Will and me closer together. It's fun to share in the little moments when we talk about the future. And twice this month I had dreams that I was pregnant! Maybe more omens of great things to come??? I hope so! tehehehehe

Past & Future

I've been irregular my whole life, and then I was placed on birth control (bc) pills by my college health center physician at the age of 18. Five years later, I got off the pill and discovered that I only had periods about 3 times per year. I was officially diagnosed with PCOS a short while later through blood tests and ultrasounds. I was then placed on and off bc pills, 6-12 months at a time, in multiple attempts to regulate my menstrual cycles.

You all know the last straw that prompted me to go to an endocrinologist last year - as listed in The Beginning. After 6 months of bc pills, spironolactone (to reduce testosterone levels), and metformin (to regulate insulin sensitivity)... my doc said it was time to get off the bc pills to see if I would start having cycles again. I also had to stop the spironolactone because that medication causes birth defects, so my endocrinologist does not prescribe it unless it's taken concurrently with bc pills. I totally agree with that, better to be safe!

My body's first attempt was pretty weak... a 96 day cycle. Hey, better than 8 months!

The second occurrence was an improvement... 43 days! Less than 2 months and like HALF of the previous one... ya! Once again - progress, not perfection. I'll take it.

This most recent cycle... 41 days! Oh, man. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

So, looking forward, what does this all mean? It means that I kind of do and kind of don't know how long my cycles will be or when I will ovulate. Historically, that's never really been a concern except for general charting purposes to let my ob/gyn know how things are going. However, I've turned the page to a new chapter in my life - we'll be trying to conceive! That's the official term - it's all over the internet... TTC. Seriously, google it.

During the past year & a half, my husband and I had some serious conversations about children, our marriage, and the future, when I went through the grittiest parts of the PCOS symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment plan. I think the conversations were also deeply impacted by the fact that he lost his own father last year, and it made him reflect about what fatherhood and family meant to him. We came to realizations and revelations together that we never imagined we would come to 7 years ago when we first met... 5 years ago when we got engaged... or even 2 years ago when we got married.

This feels strange even to myself. I'd never felt the calling for motherhood, even up until fairly recently. I really think it's because I've always been hormonally abnormal and maybe my testosterone/estrogen dysfunction affected me on physical, mental, and emotional levels. Who really knows... and who really cares.

I'm also lucky enough to have strong support from family and friends... who are all such great resources of experience, advice, and levity. In fact, my best friend made sure I bought pre-natal vitamins with DHA so that I can get all prepared to grow a baby with a big brain. I was just introduced to the "sperm meets egg" baby making plan for maximum chances of success. But... most important of all, stay relaxed, right? LOL

So, this really is the first big leap of faith we've ever taken together that neither one of us had ever planned for or know anything about! We're walking off our beaten path and leaving the map behind... eeek! I'm excited and giddy because it's a big adventure. But, of course, I'm worried and doubtful because I don't trust my own body's ability to have a baby. But, I'm ready to take it on.