The Eye-Opener

Just a short story about this turning point in my mindset. In my life, really. After being told to embark on my No Fun Food Life by the doc, I got in the car and called my husband. I had been busy. I had a dentist appointment that morning. I went into work on my day off for an important meeting. Now, it's almost dinner time - and I had nothing at home. We agreed to eat Thai food. I didn't think twice. A new lifestyle? That's on tomorrow's To-Do List.

It had been raining all day. I live in Las Vegas and we have summertime thunderstorms during monsoon season. I went to a local bomb-dot-com Thai restaurant and picked up our respective fave dishes. I got him the spicy noodles with chicken. I got the Panang Curry with duck. Time to go home and eat my final fun-filled supper.

I took the on-ramp to the freeway at a very low speed... about 20-25mph, maybe? I'm in the right lane, negotiating a right-hand curve at a slight decline. I was maybe a quarter way through the on-ramp when I felt the back end of my Toyota Camry fishtail to the left. I began to slide just a teeny tiny bit. I thought to myself - Don't Panic. Don't stomp on the brakes. That's the worst thing you can do.

I'm really proud of myself because I didn't stomp on the brakes. I just let go of the gas pedal and thought I could maybe sail back into traction... Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way. I began sliding into the next lane. I know there are cars behind me in both lanes... whether they were paying attention and avoided me, or they were just far enough away, I'm never going to recall. I realized that I was going to slide off the on-ramp on the far side! That side had a steep gravel embankment. I didn't want to fall down on that side.

At that moment... I decided to take action. I was done sliding and waiting for the traction that didn't come. I lightly tapped on the brake pedal to test out what exactly would happen. And yes, the tales are true. I quickly went into a tight spinning circle. I let go and tried to maneuver the steering wheel to just kind of go with the spin... and all the while I just gently tapped on the break like... every second or so. *NOTE: Time does act very funny when you're in a situation like this*

I spun around maybe 1 full circle... and I went back towards the right side of the on-ramp. That side had a shoulder that went into flat gravel... so it didn't scare me very much. I was hoping to go into it so I could stop. Another half circle... and my car stopped. I must have finally stomped on the brake. I turned on the hazards and turned off the radio.

I just sat there watching the cars drive past me. I'm mostly off the lane so I'm not obstructing traffic. I did think to myself - Geez, really? Nobody's going to stop and see if I'm ok? I got over it. I mean... I was going very, very slow when it all happened. It probably looked like no big deal to the other drivers.

I had a few options. I figured I could call AAA, but... nothing seemed wrong with my car - I just lost control. I could call my husband... but send him out to the crazy slick roads and do what? Come get me? Leave my car there? Call my friends and vent or feel better... but then I'll just be a roadside hazard and probably get worked up again reliving the whole thing. I checked my breathing, my pulse, and my general sanity. I felt fine. I was already over it.

I waited for the on-ramp red light... at which time the cars stopped getting on... and I let go of the brakes, applied some gas tentatively, everything felt ok, and turned myself around to get on the freeway. I got home ok - and the food was still hot.

Here are my post-traumatic, 20/20 hindsight, dig-way-deep reflections. I almost died because of my poor food choices. NO! JUST KIDDING!



More seriously... I realized that this was a perfect metaphor for life. Sometimes, it rains. Life can be full of beautiful, wonderful, miraculous things that feel as warm and radiant as the sun itself. However, things happen. Life happens. It just rains sometimes... and the road you're on is slick and dangerous. The traction gets ripped out from under you and you're left spinning out of control. But when you're done watching the blurry world whiz by - maybe when the spinning somehow slows down a bit or you take that moment of fear, courage, or pure survival instinct to act. You are choosing to take back the control. You can stop.

How you stop is not always your choice. Where you stop can seem even scarier than the spinning! However, when it all comes to a halt... you can get back on the road. Knowing there are people who would've come to the rescue, people who would've cared if I called, or roadside assistance that I pay for in case of emergencies... that helped. I was the only person inside that car... but I was not alone.


That's pretty much exactly how I feel about what I need to do now to get my health back on track. I'm done spinning and it is NOT on tomorrow's To-Do-List. It started 3 days ago - and I'm proud that I've been on the road for those 3 days.

I've recently witnessed life raining heavily on a close friend and a close family member. Their stories, hardships, and courage really inspire me. They inspire me to love deeper and to grow wiser. Above all, they show me what it means to dare to hold on tighter to the hopes and dreams that keep slipping just past our fingertips. Even though our roads are all different... I feel the road to any recovery is the same. I wish for them strength, love, and peace to see them through the dark and gloomy days. But I hope that they also know they are never alone... and the sun will shine again.