My Special Eyes

I've always had dry eyes, but they were manageable with some diligent attention... I switched to audible to give my eyes a rest while still indulging my reading appetite, I keep eye drops at work, in my purse, and in my car, I have overnight gel for sleeping, I have special glare protection on my computer glasses, and I keep the humidifier running at night. Wow, what an arsenal it appears to be when listed out like that.

Apparently, dry eye issues are yet another ridiculous complication of PCOS. So, even with all those preventative steps... I've been feeling pain, stinging, itching, watering, graininess, and general weirdness... mostly in my left eye. So, I went to the optometrist to see what's wrong and get some new computer glasses. My vision is still great after Lasik eye surgery, and nothing was wrong with my eyes.

Fast forward a week or so... things are getting worse. People at work are noticing that my left eye is like crying. Awkward. So, I finally went to the ophthalmologist today... and he thinks that the issues with my eye(s) may be a side effect of my medication. He sees a lot of patients on Metformin (which I take for insulin resistance & correlative treatment of PCOS) because that is a common drug prescribed for treatment of diabetes, and diabetes can cause any number of complications with the eyes and vision. Interestingly enough, my dosage was just increased from 500mg to 1000mg last month. Spot on, doc!

In an effort to alleviate some of the discomfort, I was given a whole ton of samples for Refresh Advanced single-day use vials... and they gave me a bunch of coupons to buy more at the store. It may feel better than what I've been using because it doesn't have any preservatives, which could be aggravating the problem. It should all last me about a month until I go back for a follow-up. I hope this is the solution to my eye problems!

On another note, sometimes when you're down... something unexpected is just waiting around the river bend, ready to pick you back up! My best friend asked if I got a package in the mail - I told her I'd check after work. I just thought she was sending me her daughter's school pictures. Turns out she sent me an early Christmas present and a little mini pick-me-up package!!

I can't wait for the weekend to come so I can curl up on the couch with some steaming hot, relaxing, and calming loose leaf tea... steeping in my "manatea" infuser! And then I can dig into part two of the Sailor Moon manga box set... it's seriously like unfinished business from my childhood, haha. And I'm reunited with one of my favorite movies, Horton Hears a Who! :)

See, I don't even remember that my eyes bug me anymore... YAY!!!!

Thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving is here and I feel there is so much to be grateful for! But first, I'm going to take a moment for reflection.

In my journey to find good health and happiness, I've also learned that how I feel is just as important as anything else. PCOS will often cause or exacerbate symptoms of depression and anxiety, and I've struggled with both conditions (and probably PCOS) throughout my late teens and my twenties. Getting my PCOS diagnosis and treatment from my endocrinologist was the best thing to ever happen to me - and now The No Fun Food Life and renewed fitness attempts have also made me feel better.

I started the day reading this article called "How to Become More Grateful in 5 Minutes or Less" by this website called Retrofit, and there are some helpful little tidbits in there that can help all of us keep the Thanksgiving spirit going year round. Even when life gets tough, I still try to focus on the positive and pay homage to all the things I can always be grateful for... positivity attracts positivity!

An unexpected surprise on this day of gratitude was waiting in my mailbox today: a super cute Manatee Tea Infuser (a manatea, how cute is that?!?) and a packet of chocolate "pop rocks" by Chuao!! This uplifting suprise was sent from the same friend who is doing the 30 Day Yoga Challenge with me - I am so happy and thankful!

Lately, I've been thinking of improving my morning routine. Instead of gulping down soy/almond milk and eating an apple on the hurried drive to work, I want to slow down and leisurely enjoy a nice cup of tea with actual breakfast. If such a cheerful & inviting manatee is waiting for me every morning, how can I say no? Perfect!!

Thanksgiving 2014... I have a beautiful roof over my head, delicious food on the table everyday, loving people to answer my phone calls & texts, meaningful work to do each day, the luxury of splurging on travels/meals/experiences with my fave peeps, and a lifetime of bright adventures ahead.

Thank you, everyone! Thank you, 2014!!!

30 Day Yoga Challenge

I helped out on a tech project at work and received a $100 Zappos gift card. Woohoo! I bought a new yoga mat that's 8mm thick - it's a little bit more plush and cushioned - a yoga mat sling to carry it in, a workout shirt, and a new pair of yoga pants. A little shopping spree felt so good!

When I was 23-24 years old, I used to live just a few blocks away from a great yoga studio that offered a fantastic student discount. I practiced yoga about 3-4 times a week. I felt so amazing. I think that was the most fit and flexible time of my life.

Fast forward to now, 30 years old, with a sedentary desk job... I feel so stiff and stagnant. And when we're in that state, it's hard to just jump back into a fitness routine and get going. So, I tried to find some support to get motivated.

I solicited one of my good friends to take on a You Do Yoga - 30 Day Challenge with me. We just completed Day 6, so almost a full week! The sessions are very attainable - they're anywhere from 15-30 minutes long. There are enough "easy" moves to make you feel great AND feel great about yourself. *yeah, I totally just twisted my spine hella far* But then she'll bust out these moves that pretty much require a fitness level way beyond mine. *omg, I'm so happy I'm doing this in the extreme privacy of my own home*

Once again, I'm not a perfect person, and everything always has a little kink in it. Sometimes, I just flop down and grunt - which causes my dogs to become very concerned about me. Or I just go into Child's Pose... I wish there was a Child's Pose equivalent for work or life in general. And, on Day 5, I came home with a migraine headache and just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I'm pretty sure my head would've exploded if I went into Downward Dog. So, I just doubled up today to catch up. No harm done.

It's a lot more fun having someone to text whenever I complete a session who knows how it feels... or holding me accountable so I don't just quit. I appreciate the support! I'm going to keep it up until I reach Day 30... that's my goal and I'm committed to it! :)

Mushroom Alfredo "Pasta"

I was super busy these past two weeks - going back to California twice, got really drunk at a friend's bday party, watched Wicked, watched the Britney show at the Planet Hollywood, and enjoyed the Caesar's Palace buffet with my college lil' sis from San Diego. I didn't go off the deep end or anything drastic, but I didn't stick to The No Fun Food Life during those two fun-filled weeks. But, hey, life goes on!

Anyway, I jumped back into the swing of things full force this week! One thing that really helps me get the carb-cravings under control are Miracle Noodles. I buy them at Whole Foods for about $2.50 a package. They are a brand of shirataki noodles - made of soluble fiber extracted from the root of a Japanese plant called Konnyaku Imo. The noodle shape is held together by adding food grade calcium. It has zero carbs, zero sugar, and zero calories.

That's crazy! It's technically not even food... and I usually don't eat weird stuff that's not food (say NO to margarine!)... but it is the only thing that gets me to stop hunting for more even after eating a meal. Sometimes, another meal of veggies with a side of protein... or, heaven help me, SALAD (so over it)... just doesn't sound appealing and does not hit the spot. You know what I"m talking about - I know you do.

The solution to my problem? ALFREDO SAUCE and... MUSHROOMS!

Mushroom Alfredo "Pasta"
Use a frying pan or skillet and brown however much of whatever mixture of mushrooms you love in some olive oil, salt, and pepper. I used oyster mushrooms and a pre-mixed wild medley.

Open one package of Miracle Noodles, rinse, squeeze dry, place on plate, use kitchen scissors to make like 4-5 cuts randomly in the noodle pile. Microwave for 30 seconds. *Note: if you don't cut the noodles, you'll end up with masses of reeeeally loooooong noodles*

Add 1/4 cup or 1/2 cup of Newman's Own Alfredo pasta sauce on top of the pile of noodles... depending on your desire... DO NOT MIX. Cover and microwave for 1 minute. The noodles will lose water as it heats. Carefully hold the noodles back with a fork or spatula or just poke holes in your plastic wrap at the edge of the plate... and drain the water. Stir the sauce and noodles.

Add the browned mushrooms on top and serve!

This meal feels seriously sinful! I'll add a side of protein (for an even heartier meal) or side of veggies. It tastes amazing and it really sticks to your ribs and makes you feel satiated. It should not invoke any guilt. The alfredo sauce has 3g of carbs and 1g of sugar for 1/4 cup... it's pretty high in fat (8g) and sodium (410mg) but that's how it tastes so good. In the grand scheme of things... that's not a big deal compared to the multitude of other bad choices one can potentially make when craving a "hearty" meal.

Mushrooms are a good source of B vitamins, including riboflavin, niacin, and pantothenic acid, which help to provide energy by breaking down proteins, fats and carbohydrates². B vitamins also play an important role in the nervous system.

• Pantothenic acid helps with the production of hormones and also plays an important role in the nervous system².
• Riboflavin helps maintain healthy red blood cells².
• Niacin promotes healthy skin and makes sure the digestive and nervous systems function properly².

- See more at: http://mushroominfo.com/benefits/#sthash.b7gmP1fb.dpu

And if you're still feeling *meh* about this meal, then here are some great facts about mushrooms. They're full of B Vitamins (riboflavin, niacin, pantotheic acid) good for the nervous system, hormone production, red blood cells, skin, and digestive system. They're also a fantastic source of minerals & antioxiants such as selenium, copper, potassium, ergothioneine... all perfect for protection from cell damage, oxygen in red blood cells, bones, nerves, and heart function.

Mushrooms are a good source of B vitamins, including riboflavin, niacin, and pantothenic acid, which help to provide energy by breaking down proteins, fats and carbohydrates². B vitamins also play an important role in the nervous system.

• Pantothenic acid helps with the production of hormones and also plays an important role in the nervous system².
• Riboflavin helps maintain healthy red blood cells².
• Niacin promotes healthy skin and makes sure the digestive and nervous systems function properly².

- See more at: http://mushroominfo.com/benefits/#sthash.b7gmP1fb.dpuf

Mushrooms are a good source of B vitamins, including riboflavin, niacin, and pantothenic acid, which help to provide energy by breaking down proteins, fats and carbohydrates². B vitamins also play an important role in the nervous system.

• Pantothenic acid helps with the production of hormones and also plays an important role in the nervous system².
• Riboflavin helps maintain healthy red blood cells².
• Niacin promotes healthy skin and makes sure the digestive and nervous systems function properly².

- See more at: http://mushroominfo.com/benefits/#sthash.b7gmP1fb.dpuf

Past & Future

I've been irregular my whole life, and then I was placed on birth control (bc) pills by my college health center physician at the age of 18. Five years later, I got off the pill and discovered that I only had periods about 3 times per year. I was officially diagnosed with PCOS a short while later through blood tests and ultrasounds. I was then placed on and off bc pills, 6-12 months at a time, in multiple attempts to regulate my menstrual cycles.

You all know the last straw that prompted me to go to an endocrinologist last year - as listed in The Beginning. After 6 months of bc pills, spironolactone (to reduce testosterone levels), and metformin (to regulate insulin sensitivity)... my doc said it was time to get off the bc pills to see if I would start having cycles again. I also had to stop the spironolactone because that medication causes birth defects, so my endocrinologist does not prescribe it unless it's taken concurrently with bc pills. I totally agree with that, better to be safe!

My body's first attempt was pretty weak... a 96 day cycle. Hey, better than 8 months!

The second occurrence was an improvement... 43 days! Less than 2 months and like HALF of the previous one... ya! Once again - progress, not perfection. I'll take it.

This most recent cycle... 41 days! Oh, man. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

So, looking forward, what does this all mean? It means that I kind of do and kind of don't know how long my cycles will be or when I will ovulate. Historically, that's never really been a concern except for general charting purposes to let my ob/gyn know how things are going. However, I've turned the page to a new chapter in my life - we'll be trying to conceive! That's the official term - it's all over the internet... TTC. Seriously, google it.

During the past year & a half, my husband and I had some serious conversations about children, our marriage, and the future, when I went through the grittiest parts of the PCOS symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment plan. I think the conversations were also deeply impacted by the fact that he lost his own father last year, and it made him reflect about what fatherhood and family meant to him. We came to realizations and revelations together that we never imagined we would come to 7 years ago when we first met... 5 years ago when we got engaged... or even 2 years ago when we got married.

This feels strange even to myself. I'd never felt the calling for motherhood, even up until fairly recently. I really think it's because I've always been hormonally abnormal and maybe my testosterone/estrogen dysfunction affected me on physical, mental, and emotional levels. Who really knows... and who really cares.

I'm also lucky enough to have strong support from family and friends... who are all such great resources of experience, advice, and levity. In fact, my best friend made sure I bought pre-natal vitamins with DHA so that I can get all prepared to grow a baby with a big brain. I was just introduced to the "sperm meets egg" baby making plan for maximum chances of success. But... most important of all, stay relaxed, right? LOL

So, this really is the first big leap of faith we've ever taken together that neither one of us had ever planned for or know anything about! We're walking off our beaten path and leaving the map behind... eeek! I'm excited and giddy because it's a big adventure. But, of course, I'm worried and doubtful because I don't trust my own body's ability to have a baby. But, I'm ready to take it on.

Progress, Comfort, and Not Perfect

I have successfully lived The No Fun Food Life for one month now. While I have not been perfect, it had also never been my intention to be perfect. I make at least one solid exception a week, and look forward to it without guilt. I find that it helps me make all the correct small decisions everyday.

Fall weather is upon us and that introduces two new factors: Football Season and Comfort Food.

My husband asked me to go to Buffalo Wild Wings with him to watch football (he's a Buffalo Bills fan and I'm part of the Who Dat Nation... Geaux Saints!!)... and my first instinct was to turn it down and tell him to just watch TV at home. Then I decided to embrace the opportunity to hang out and have fun together. I ordered some salt & vinegar wings accompanied with carrots, celery, and bell peppers with spinach artichoke dip... washed down with iced tea. (Note: I didn't drink the entire giant iced tea. Too much caffeine can contribute to some of the metabolic issues that people with PCOS face, as well as exacerbate any depression or anxiety symptoms that usually accompany this syndrome.) I ordered water halfway through that tea. I felt those were pretty good choices.

As for comfort food, I wanted to eat a very filling and hearty meal with some hot bubbling broth. I love, love, love ramen - BUT! I obviously can't go running to those delicious noodles whenever I get the hankering. So, I looked up a Shabu  Shabu (Japanese hot pot) restaurant to try to satisfy the craving. I had 4oz. thinly sliced ribeye and a big bowl of veggies. The sauces looked super cute... but I skipped them due to their probable sugar content... opting for extra large heaps of minced garlic and green onions. Yes!

Most importantly in this whole process, I put a lot of attention and anticipation in the exceptions and I allow them to be amazing.

For example, I attend a weekly viewing of Downtown Abbey with a fabulous intimate group of ladies. Our host graciously provide a lovely meal for the event, and even tries to modify it for me! Last week, one of my friends knew it was pasta night so she brought a tupperware of roasted spaghetti squash for me... which freed me up to eat one slice of some very special garlic infused bread slathered with Irish block butter. *drool*

On top of that... earlier that day I went to a Korean bakery I found on Yelp and purchased a few treats for my ladies. I enjoyed a Chocolate Macaron that everyone agreed was amazing and a Pistachio Cookie (that felt more like a soft crumbly scone) that was, once again, seriously slathered in Irish block butter. Top it all off with some Lemon & Ginger Tea... watching TV doesn't get better than that!

Now, I know it may sound like I'm splurging an awful lot... I mean, before I embarked on this journey, Iwould've agreed with that. However, now I know exactly how much food I eat each day and how many opportunities I have to make good choices, the little splurges and treats are really like drops in a bucket. I definitely gained some valuable perspective from this experience.

I've lost 5 pounds this past month since beginning The No Fun Food Life. It's putting me on the right track towards the 10% body weight loss I'm aiming for... as recommended by my docs to put me on the right track for fighting PCOS. And the month before that I had lost a net weight of 5 pounds from a 5 day juice cleanse. So... I'm at a total of 10 pounds in just a few months, woot! Miraculous progress for someone with PCOS... seriously.

If I can keep this up and lose the last 5 pounds to reach my 10% goal, I'll be over half way to my original weight before the PCOS 25lb unstoppable freight train weight gain I experienced last year. After a long struggle of trying to understand what is wrong with me... I feel very positive about my journey right now. Yeah!! :)

Go Away, Mittelschmerz

A little bit of middle school reproductive health education. In the middle of the cycle, the follicles inside our ovaries will mature and one eventually ruptures as the little ovum, or egg, makes its way down the fallopian tube. Straightforward, simple... unless you have PCOS.

I am on day 19 of my cycle... and experienced what is commonly known as ovulation pains. You may also know it as mittelschmerz, which is German for "middle pain," referring to the mid-way point in a woman's cycle when ovulation takes place. You feel it in the way low abdominal and pelvic area. Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) and Luteinizing Hormone (LH) prompt those little follicles to grow and mature... and there are no openings in the ovary, so the little eggs literally erupt and break free. That's pretty violent and seems pretty inefficient.

A person with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, as the name implies, have multiple cysts on the ovaries because numerous follicles never mature all the way. What's left are the little bubbles of immature follicles, they collect fluids and sometimes have little blood vessels and keep growing. Anyway, as nothing is simple in the reproductive process for someone with PCOS, these cysts will also spontaneously burst sometimes. The first time one of these cysts exploded, I thought I had appendicitis and went to the hospital. I was told about the whole process described above in nutshell. The second time it happened... it was pretty mild. I took some ibuprofen and went about my business. Fast forward to late last night.

I went to the grocery store to get some items to prepare for my work week... and in the middle of the produce section, I felt the initial twinge. I wasn't sure... I thought I took a wrong step, maybe just an intestinal cramp? Then, I doubled over. I took a step, grabbed the cart handle, and crouched to the floor. It was awful for like 5 seconds... then it was over. I experimentally walked around gingerly... counted my good fortune that I wasn't incapacitated by pain and quickly grabbed the rest of my stuff and went home.

Later in the evening... the weird abdominal bloating and persistent achy pain set in on the right side (it's always the right side, can I just get one ovary removed?) - which turns into stabby pain whenever I took a step or twisted funny. I put my trusty heating pad on my tummy and sipped hot tea into the wee hours of morning. I woke up when my alarm went off, and drifted in and out of some strange lucid dreaming... I felt physically, mentally, and emotionally awful. I finally dragged my butt out of bed, emailed my work, and crawled back under the blankets with my heating pad.

These days, I try to to take too much ibuprofen, acetaminophen, or any other over-the-counter pain medications... not out of some crazy moral stance or funky science/non-science article... I just figured, if I can't feel progress, how will I know I'm making any? I've decided that my health is top priority in my life at this moment, and I am in a fortunate position where I can make that choice. So, if I'm not feeling well and I need the time and space for my body to heal, I'm going to let it do its thing and not mask the bad feelings and truck on with my day.

The pain was pretty manageable earlier today, I took the opportunity to go on a slow walk with the doggies... not sure that was a bright idea. I feel really exhausted, uncomfortable, and a little feverish. I took my temperature, I don't actually have a high temperature... I just feel that way. My husband brought home a can of chicken noodle soup out of love and concern. You bet I ate the soup... ate every carb-o-licious noodle. Today, I let myself indulge.

Just another fabulous day of living with PCOS. *sigh*

No More Hardboiled Eggs, Please

In a conversation with my cousin, I discovered that I was not alone in how tired I was getting of the good-for-you stuff. As documented in the photo, she is also going low carb, and that is a typical breakfast for her. She confided in me that she didn't know how much longer she could go on eating hardboiled eggs - to which I responded, "I know. I'm quite sick of them." In reality, I don't even want to look at them. Like, even in that picture. LOL

I am feeling that way about chicken and beef as well. So, I was trying to figure out other proteins I can eat. However, I don't think the problem lies in the eggs. The problem is that I'm not changing up the way I prepare them. Omelets and hardboiled are not the only way!

I decided to go with another oldie but goodie Chinese favorite... actually two of them! As a child, one of my favorite dishes had always been Shrimp & Scrambled Eggs. My mom also made Tomatoes & Scrambled Eggs at home... yummy. So, why not combine all that deliciousness!?

Shrimp & Scrambled Eggs w. Tomatoes
Heat 1 tbsp oil on medium-high in a wok/skillet, stir fry 4oz. peeled & deveined shrimp until they turn pink and opaque, add salt to taste, remove and drain.

Heat 1 tbsp oil in wok/skillet on high heat, add mixture of 6 lightly beaten eggs + 1/3 cup chicken broth + 1 tsp cooking sherry + 2 sliced green onions + salt & pepper to taste, lightly scramble for 1-2 minutes, add shrimp back in, scramble until eggs are cooked but still moist. Remove from heat.

You can END HERE or keep going for the zesty zingy tomato taste!

Add 2 tomatoes cut in thin wedges to the hot wok/skillet, stir and turn occasionally about 4 minutes until juices release and tomatoes wilt, add Shrimp & Scrambled Eggs back in, mix well and serve.

So, I used Heirloom Tomatoes for this recipe because they are more nutritious and delicious. Heirloom varieties have been grown without crossbreeding for 40 or more years. You are eating a TRUE TOMATO! Five Fun Facts: 1) They're a great for Vitamin C 2) They're good for the heart 3) Heirloom Organic tomatoes are higher in Lycopene 4) They're great for Vitamin K 5) They're bursting with flavor! Seriously, Heirloom Tomatoes are not genetically altered to be "sweet" and less acidic (aka. bland), and they're not pumped with weird growth stuff to grow large very quickly - a process that depletes them of their zing! and their vitamins/phytochemicals/minerals. Go Heirloom. You won't regret it!

The results were delicious and really hit the spot! The only thing that could've made it better was a big bowl of hot white rice... but since that is just a fantasy when living The No Fun Food Life... I made do with a side of turnips braised with shiitake mushrooms.

I also ventured into a new protein source: Shrimp! They're full of Vitamins A, D, E & B's, Zinc, Selenium, Copper, Magnesium, Iodine, and Omega-3. This sudden inspiration to go back to my childhood faves was a real winner!!

:) Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Cousin!

Yoga and Hiking

Part of my commitment to my new lifestyle is moving and relaxing. I've been making some slow but steady progress in those departments. I've started wearing and syncing my Fitbit Flex every day. I've learned a few things: I average at just about 6,000-7,000 steps per day, I sleep just a little under 8 hours per night, and I don't move much when I sleep.

What else... I spontaneously joined my teammates in an outdoor yoga event after work one night. It was the moment where I chose to get moving instead of drive home and sit. It was a tough decision because my back was really killing me (I have scoliosis... and back pain and stiffness will keep me from moving around, which in turn causes more back pain and stiffness, go figure). However, I was very proud of myself for making the right choice. After yoga, I went to enjoy a burger with my friends - protein style, no sauce, with a side of broccoli. Yay!

Last week, I told myself... Yoga on Thursday morning before work or bust! I announced my intentions to a teammate so that I could have some sort of non-self accountability. I woke up with significantly less sleep than usual and felt pretty crappy - I'm not a morning person, at all. But I honored my promise to myself and got to the gym. It gave me a wonderful feeling - physically and mentally - all day.

Lastly, I went on a one day camping trip with my friends this weekend. I went on two hikes, one in the evening we arrived and one in the morning before we left. It felt great to experience the quiet adventurousness of being in nature was so relaxing. At night, the clouds rolled in and I could see their outlines in the remnants of twilight. Even though it really hid the stars, it felt so amazing because the moist air, cool breeze, and fire pit really reminded me of being on the beach in San Diego again. It gave me a bit of nostalgia.

I feel like I am finding opportunities to become more active and I'm finally giving that aspect of my life more attention. I remember how strong, flexible, and good I felt in my mid-20's when I used to practice yoga 3-4 times per week. Even though that is not something I can accommodate at this time, I am finding other ways to move more often and be more active. I take that as a small victory over a giant mental roadblock.

Lettuce Cups

My best friend gave me a lovely present... a healthy cookbook titled, " Eat What You Love Everyday." There's over 200 great tasting recipes that are low sugar, fat, and calories. It's been really neat reading the information and flipping through the books to try to find some easy and tasty recipes to try out.

First one: Moo-Shu Lettuce Wraps (modified)

Sauce
2 tbsp reduced sodium Soy Sauce (or Liquid Aminos substitute), 1 tsp Sesame Oil, 1 tsp freshly minced Ginger (END HERE if you're not eating sugar) 2 tbsp Hoisin Sauce.

Moo-Shu
Cook 1lb Lean Ground Turkey in a large nonstick skillet, add Sauce to skillet, simmer 3 minutes, remove from heat. Cover & microwave 3-4 cups bagged Coleslaw Mix and 4 thinly sliced Green Onions on high for 3 minutes when Turkey is cooking, add to meat & sauce, add 1/2 cup chopped Water Chestnuts, add Pepper to taste.

Rip off the springy leaves of a head of Butter Lettuce, fill them up with delicious Moo-Shu, and there you are! I call them Lettuce Cups instead of wraps because it just seems more fitting. I brought this delicious meal to lunch at work today - my coworkers were very impressed. So fancy!

I reserved the Hoisin Sauce for my husband to enjoy with his little Lettuce Cups because the #1 ingredient of Hoisin Sauce is usually sugar, and modified food starch tends to make an appearance about 75% down the ingredient list as well. Unnecessary carbs and sugar have no place in The No Food Fun Life. I also increased the coleslaw mix amount from 3 to 4 cups to bring my veggie and fiber game up a notch.

This awesome and great-for-me lunch was relatively easy to make. But that doesn't mean I had it easy. Recently, the microwave in our work Bistro was moved to a new location. It used to be right next to the soda machines - which was perfect because that's also the water machine, and I'm not a soda drinker. It was very mundane and simple microwaving my food there. Now, it lives next to this wall of COOKIES! A line of freshly baked, ready and waiting, luring and enticing COOKIES! WTF.

For one minute and thirty seconds, I stood there fantasizing about eating one of each kind of cookie - except Oatmeal Raisin *ew*. Then the microwave went ding! and I grabbed my nutritious lunch and hightailed it out of there before I came to any regrettable decisions. Success.

I wasn't perfect though. My friend came back to work after a trip to Boston and she brought back these Mexican Roasted Almonds - coated with cocoa powder, cinnamon, and a slight sugar glaze. I ate a total of four. So, I wasn't perfect today - and I admit it to all of you and to myself - but I don't feel bad about it. I still feel that I triumphed over the wall of cookies... and enjoying 4 heavenly Mexican Roasted Almonds brought back home from a long journey by a much missed friend is OK in my books.

Beef & Broccoli

I made Beef & Broccoli today from a super simple recipe that one of my students gave to me. I modified the recipe that she gave me to make it acceptable for The No Food Fun Life. I removed the cornstarch, used twice as much broccoli, and added roasted sesame seeds. The results were tasty!

I'll jot down the general recipe, and then let you know how I tweaked it to get as close as I could to no added sugar, carbs, or starches.

Sauce
2 tbsp Soy Sauce (or Liquid Aminos substitute), 2 tbsp Oyster Sauce, 1 tbsp Rice Vinegar, 1 tbsp Sherry Cooking Wine, 1 tbsp Cornstarch (which I omitted). Combine everything, marinate about 1lb Beef slices. I added roasted sesame seeds for fun.

Recipe
Stir fry a whole bunch of Broccoli (like 4 heads of florets) with a sprinkle of salt & pepper, after a few minutes drizzle a bit of Sesame Oil (mostly for aroma & flavor) and continue to stir fry until tender. Remove Broccoli. Add beef & Sauce... stir fry until beef is cooked, add the broccoli back in until everything is coated in sauce and hot (I modified this last step).

One thing I learned from this cooking adventure is that sugar is lurking in everything that makes stuff delicious. Oyster sauce is in a lot of Chinese cooking as a base for many sauces. No wonder it's tasty - it's got 5g of sugar per tablespoon. Two tablespoons add up to almost half of the recommended 25g of added sugar that a healthy adult woman should aim to stay below per day. And, usually, people overlook sauces and condiments when thinking about their daily consumption. So, it can really sneak its way into our daily intake.

So... to combat the sugar and cornstarch, I got a little creative. As stated above, I didn't add the cornstarch to the sauce - it has 7g carbs per tablespoon. Next, I cooked the broccoli, set it aside, cooked the beef & marinade... then I removed the meat with tongs and left the sauce simmering in the wok. I diluted 1 tbsp cornstarch in cold water and added it to the sauce and let it boil a bit. Once it thickened, I poured it out into a bowl - like gravy.

I ate my beef with the minimal sauce that had soaked into it with an oversized helping of yummy broccoli. It made me feel not so worried/guilty about the sugar - and my husband was able to enjoy the full flavors and thick sauciness of a pretty good dish of Beef & Broccoli. Solid compromise.

Success... and I've got enough for tomorrow's lunch at work - sweet! Pun intended.

Impromptu Potluck

As mentioned before, my fun-filled work place is hard on The No Food Fun Life. Earlier this week, my team decided that we should do a potluck today.

I bought all the ingredients to prepare either Beef & Broccoli or Braised Short Ribs. Either dish would give me a non-carb option. This is not my first potluck rodeo... people looooooove making and sharing dishes with oodles and oodles of delicious carbs. I didn't want to throw myself into the potluck predicament without a safety net.

Now, also as mentioned earlier, life throws curve balls. As documented in my previous posts, I've been deeply afflicted by the PMS party mix from the underworld this week. I was in no mood to cook last night, and even less mood to do so this morning. Uh oh.

So, I went to the grocery store right before work and bought a Meat, Cheese, & Crackers platter. Classy fingerfood... score. Next, I quickly grabbed an Apple Harvest Salad: baby lettuces, apple, chicken, cheese, and sunflower seeds. Yum! That way, if I rolled up to this potluck and there was nothing for me to eat, I wouldn't feel compelled to just give in and eat whatever was there. I feel like I played it pretty smart today. *pat on the back*

Lo, and behold! I arrived to the following: 3 dozen donuts (seriously!), cookies, enchiladas, lasagna, and slutty brownies (heaven-on-earth triple layers - brownie, oreos, chocolate chip cookies). I set out my little platter, stocked a little plate of salami & cheese and dug into my salad. I still ate with the rest of my team and socialized, chatted, and stuffed my face... I just did it on my own terms. I felt pretty powerful.

My teammates are all very supportive. I'd say 50% knows exactly what I'm doing in regards to changing my health and PCOS... and the other 50% thinks I'm extremely picky, healthy, and/or strange. Haha. But they accept it.

In fact! I got three of them to help me eat donuts and brownies vicariously through them. I would take a giant inhale of a particularly good looking Krispy Kreme to get all the deliciousness up my nostrils... and then I'd watch them take a big bite. OMG... if you've never done this... DO IT. I don't know if I'm crazy or if it's like a true scientific thing... but smelling it and then watching someone else eat it is REALLY CLOSE to eating it. I'm not joking! I'd even ask them to take a 2nd bite and go "mmmmmmmm" and then I'd make the same noise - and I swear I felt like I experienced the entire thing myself.

DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!

Today, I am in love with my teammates for supporting my journey, for not judging me, and for being such good-sport weirdos!!! hee hee... I consider this potluck a success because 1) I didn't give up when plans got derailed 2) I played it way smart 3) I found support from others and 4) I had fun! :)

Success, indeed.

A Sweet Treat

I had a rough day. According to my menstrual cycle tracker and my ob/gyn, today should be the start date of my period. It hasn't come yet - but I feel all the symptoms, and then some.

I am experiencing some intense fatigue. I hesitate to tell people that I'm feeling fatigued anymore, because the common misconception is that I'm just tired. I'm not TIRED... I'm not hitting a mid-day slump. This is different and comes in many forms. Many people do associate fatigue with physical exhaustion, but fatigue can also show itself as depression or the inability to concentrate. In fact, a lack of energy can decrease your ability to function physically, mentally, or emotionally. But, yes, I do feel completely exhausted.

Next, the PMS party mix of symptoms: back pain, headache, breast tenderness, cramp-iness, bloating, and the lovely *blah* emotion - you know, that feeling when you wake up and think to yourself, what's the point? and then proceed to crawl back into a mental hole, hoping to stop life from happening there. I dreaded going to work - thinking that I couldn't face my teammates. I thought: Why bother, they don't even like me... they're so annoying... they won't understand... they're just going to be all positive and tell me to feel better... I can't sit through any meetings! Um, these are the same lovely people I invite over to my home, eat with, get drunk with, watch movies with, walk to taco trucks with, sing karaoke with, bare my soul to...! Obviously, I was afflicted with some serious blues. Although, that last part was true... I ditched every single one of my meetings today. It felt great.

All of the symptoms are so intense. That is also a curse of PCOS. In fact, sometimes women with PCOS are diagnosed with PMDD  - Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder - which is extended, and sometimes disabling, PMS. Which, of course, can be true, but if the diagnosis ends there without testing for PCOS, that woman can suffer forever and just blame it on the wrong disorder. When my hormones were regulated by birth control pills, I never had symptoms like this. The most would be some back pain with a headache... and sometimes light cramps. Every time I experience a non-hormone induced/regulated period - it's like the world is ending. And what's worse is that... I don't know what's not working right, but it will just drag on for days.

Aside from the PMS horror show, today marked a successful first week in The No Fun Food Life. With the exception of 1/2 cup of brown rice/millet/barley, 4 croutons, and 2 pieces of spiral pasta... I had refrained from indulging in sugars, carbs, and starches. It was no easy feat... but I am proud of myself.

Since I woke up feeling so extra crappy - I made a little pact with myself. If I could make it through the day and manage to not hunt down 15 brownies and inhale them all... I would treat myself. I stuck it out through the day, and went over to a hip little cafe after work. I ordered a large chamomile tea and 2 macarons: almond and raspberry. Oh boy, did I savor them. I took little bites and chewed very slowly. I think it took me ten minutes to consume the two tiny little delicate desserts. They tasted heavenly. *ahhhhhhhh*

I'm glad that I rewarded myself and, if anything, I feel like it has reinforced my dedication. I can indulge responsibly. And... I deserved it! Here's to another successful week! :)

Cartoon & Cereal Day

The break rooms at my work are usually stocked with fairly nutritiously mindful cereals: Kashi whole grain varieties, other whole grain and bran flakes, and... the highly coveted... Honey Nut Cheerios. Seriously, people hoard the Honey Nut Cheerios on their desks and in their drawers.

What you see on the left is a for realz whiteboard announcement. My work is always coming up with fun-filled themed days to boost morale and reinforce our culture. Cartoon & Cereal Day? All of our favorite childhood cereals?? People loved it! They were going bonkers for it! Random people were walking around shouting at each other, Hey! Did you see all the "good stuff," "sugary stuff," "real cereal," etc. over there?

What was music to most of my coworkers' ears was like nails on a chalkboard for me. There I was... days into my new No Fun Food Life and all the crème de la crème of crunchy breakfast goodness were on full display, pushed by the excited masses, and free for the endless taking. Lucky enough for me, I have been weaned off of my childhood addiction to commercial cereals for years now.

The refined, simple carbs saturated with sugar or high fructose corn syrup that we dutifully shoveled into our faces as children has no place in the diet of a woman afflicted with PCOS.

Simple carbs are easy carbs - easily processed and absorbed into your bloodstream, that is. All of the energy is absorbed immediately - turning into a quick and temporary rush - causing your blood sugar to spike and then crash. Adding sugar into the mix will just increase the intensity exponentially. It'll send your blood glucose and insulin levels on a wild swing within a very short amount of time.

Whenever I take the simple carbs + sugar roller coaster ride, this is how I feel: Delighted, Jazzed, Satiated, Full, Guilty, Thirsty, Tired, Hungry, Grumpy (listed in the order of their appearance). Think about the times when you were hungry and you ate a glazed doughnut, a fruity danish, a chocolate muffin, some pancakes and syrup - and nothing else - did you feel the effects of the roller coaster? Take that roller coaster frequently and long enough... your brain and pancreas will stop communicating correctly.

Women with PCOS already experience communication problems between their brains, pancreas, and ovaries. We don't need to contribute to the problem. There were many who were ready to call me a hater because I didn't embrace Cartoon & Cereal Day - "... but cereal is part of a complete breakfast!" "... they're fortified with vitamins and stuff!" "... you're supposed to eat the most calories at breakfast anyway so you have all day to burn it off!" But as my doc had pointed out - I don't have a nutrition problem, I don't have an eating problem... I have PCOS.

Don't get me wrong. I know we all need carbohydrates and sugars to live and, in their many forms, they are in everything. They're in fruits, vegetables, and even dairy products. The glucose/insulin swing can be moderated by the presence of the fiber and protein found in a balanced meal - it'll soften the blow and provide your body a longer-sustained and more stable energy.

Whole fruits and vegetables have the natural carbohydrates, sugars, and starches that we want and need to eat, and they are neatly prepackaged with fiber intact. So, add a handful of nuts, a glass of soy/almond milk, or a hard boiled egg, and there goes your complete meal for breakfast.

The Eye-Opener

Just a short story about this turning point in my mindset. In my life, really. After being told to embark on my No Fun Food Life by the doc, I got in the car and called my husband. I had been busy. I had a dentist appointment that morning. I went into work on my day off for an important meeting. Now, it's almost dinner time - and I had nothing at home. We agreed to eat Thai food. I didn't think twice. A new lifestyle? That's on tomorrow's To-Do List.

It had been raining all day. I live in Las Vegas and we have summertime thunderstorms during monsoon season. I went to a local bomb-dot-com Thai restaurant and picked up our respective fave dishes. I got him the spicy noodles with chicken. I got the Panang Curry with duck. Time to go home and eat my final fun-filled supper.

I took the on-ramp to the freeway at a very low speed... about 20-25mph, maybe? I'm in the right lane, negotiating a right-hand curve at a slight decline. I was maybe a quarter way through the on-ramp when I felt the back end of my Toyota Camry fishtail to the left. I began to slide just a teeny tiny bit. I thought to myself - Don't Panic. Don't stomp on the brakes. That's the worst thing you can do.

I'm really proud of myself because I didn't stomp on the brakes. I just let go of the gas pedal and thought I could maybe sail back into traction... Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way. I began sliding into the next lane. I know there are cars behind me in both lanes... whether they were paying attention and avoided me, or they were just far enough away, I'm never going to recall. I realized that I was going to slide off the on-ramp on the far side! That side had a steep gravel embankment. I didn't want to fall down on that side.

At that moment... I decided to take action. I was done sliding and waiting for the traction that didn't come. I lightly tapped on the brake pedal to test out what exactly would happen. And yes, the tales are true. I quickly went into a tight spinning circle. I let go and tried to maneuver the steering wheel to just kind of go with the spin... and all the while I just gently tapped on the break like... every second or so. *NOTE: Time does act very funny when you're in a situation like this*

I spun around maybe 1 full circle... and I went back towards the right side of the on-ramp. That side had a shoulder that went into flat gravel... so it didn't scare me very much. I was hoping to go into it so I could stop. Another half circle... and my car stopped. I must have finally stomped on the brake. I turned on the hazards and turned off the radio.

I just sat there watching the cars drive past me. I'm mostly off the lane so I'm not obstructing traffic. I did think to myself - Geez, really? Nobody's going to stop and see if I'm ok? I got over it. I mean... I was going very, very slow when it all happened. It probably looked like no big deal to the other drivers.

I had a few options. I figured I could call AAA, but... nothing seemed wrong with my car - I just lost control. I could call my husband... but send him out to the crazy slick roads and do what? Come get me? Leave my car there? Call my friends and vent or feel better... but then I'll just be a roadside hazard and probably get worked up again reliving the whole thing. I checked my breathing, my pulse, and my general sanity. I felt fine. I was already over it.

I waited for the on-ramp red light... at which time the cars stopped getting on... and I let go of the brakes, applied some gas tentatively, everything felt ok, and turned myself around to get on the freeway. I got home ok - and the food was still hot.

Here are my post-traumatic, 20/20 hindsight, dig-way-deep reflections. I almost died because of my poor food choices. NO! JUST KIDDING!



More seriously... I realized that this was a perfect metaphor for life. Sometimes, it rains. Life can be full of beautiful, wonderful, miraculous things that feel as warm and radiant as the sun itself. However, things happen. Life happens. It just rains sometimes... and the road you're on is slick and dangerous. The traction gets ripped out from under you and you're left spinning out of control. But when you're done watching the blurry world whiz by - maybe when the spinning somehow slows down a bit or you take that moment of fear, courage, or pure survival instinct to act. You are choosing to take back the control. You can stop.

How you stop is not always your choice. Where you stop can seem even scarier than the spinning! However, when it all comes to a halt... you can get back on the road. Knowing there are people who would've come to the rescue, people who would've cared if I called, or roadside assistance that I pay for in case of emergencies... that helped. I was the only person inside that car... but I was not alone.


That's pretty much exactly how I feel about what I need to do now to get my health back on track. I'm done spinning and it is NOT on tomorrow's To-Do-List. It started 3 days ago - and I'm proud that I've been on the road for those 3 days.

I've recently witnessed life raining heavily on a close friend and a close family member. Their stories, hardships, and courage really inspire me. They inspire me to love deeper and to grow wiser. Above all, they show me what it means to dare to hold on tighter to the hopes and dreams that keep slipping just past our fingertips. Even though our roads are all different... I feel the road to any recovery is the same. I wish for them strength, love, and peace to see them through the dark and gloomy days. But I hope that they also know they are never alone... and the sun will shine again.

The Beginning

This week marks the beginning of a massive lifestyle change. I was told by my doctor to eat my way to good health... No sugar. No carbs. No starches. Not like, eat brown rice instead of white rice. More like, don't eat any rice. It's not forever, it's until I can become PCOS symptom-free. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is a common endocrine (or hormone-related) disorder that affect many women of reproductive age.

Symptoms include infrequent, absent, or prolonged menstrual periods, excess hair growth, acne, and obesity. Everyone's experienced one of the above at some time or another. While it may not mean you have PCOS... if you have it, you will know because you will read the first sentence in this paragraph and then multiply the intensity and duration by 20x. That's how it feels. I gained 25lb in 5 months with no diet, activity, or lifestyle change. I got a face full of purple painful acne, random facial & body hair, and I went 8 months without a menstrual period. My testosterone level was sky-high.

The exact cause of PCOS is unknown. Early diagnosis and treatment along with weight loss may reduce the risk of long-term complications, such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and infertility. And probably general unhappiness and low self-esteem caused by all the awful symptoms, right?

Complications
- High blood pressure
- Cholesterol and lipid abnormalities, such as elevated triglycerides or low high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, the "good" cholesterol
- Metabolic syndrome
- Nonalcoholic steatohepatitis — a severe liver inflammation caused by fat accumulation in the liver
- Infertility
- Sleep apnea
- Depression and anxiety
- Abnormal uterine bleeding
- Cancer of the uterine lining (endometrial cancer), caused by exposure to continuous high levels of estrogen
- Gestational diabetes or pregnancy-induced high blood pressure

Anyway, I'm just writing this down to announce my renewed dedication to getting healthy. The possible complications of prolonged exposure to the hormonal, physical, and mental effects of PCOS are quietly scaring me out of my socks on a subconscious level. I need to take back my health and move on with my life. I just turned 30 this year and I want the prime years of my life to feel like it. My husband and I are ready to begin the next chapter of our life and this disorder... syndrome... disease... will not dictate my life.

I'm ready to explore how to navigate daily life with an overhaul of the following components: eating, moving, and relaxing. :)